Comparison to Others: An Observation

I. Foundation

Our comparison to others seems founded on fear.

Specifically, feeling insufficient, lacking, inferior. Even, a feeling of scarcity.

And, an attempt to fill that void by “competing” - against everyone.

II. Manifestations

When we compare ourselves to others, we seek out their short-comings to bolster our self-esteem. We find ways to belittle and ridicule them.

We convince ourselves that degrading them elevates us. We attempt to shift their light unto us to soothe our sense of inferiority.

Further, our feeling of inferiority manifests as anxiety, hyper-vigilance, restlessness, and inability to feel peace.

III. Risks

A comparison (scarcity) mindset is self-absorbed and zero-sum.

When we compare ourselves to others, we also blind ourselves to truth. Mainly, that just as we are Divinely blessed and have experienced loss, the same is true for others. We choose to focus on a part of their life, rather than their whole story.

Further, when we compare ourselves to others, we shift attention away from our blessings, and the development of our natural talents. Thus, delaying our self-realization.

IV. Alternative

An alternative is to replace comparison with curiosity.

Put another way, to approach life less as a competition (scarcity), and more as an adventure (abundance).

When we approach life as an adventure, we become curious. When we are curious, we are inclined to ask questions and learn. In the process, we become open-minded, and deepen our understanding.

And, when we deepen our understanding of others, we begin to see ourselves in them and them in us. We realize we share similar tragedies, insecurities, challenges, even fears and dreams.

Approaching life with curiosity opens our mind to discovery and heart to compassion. We become gentler, connected, and wiser.

V. Invitation

How may we begin?

We may begin by: (i) noticing when we are comparing ourselves to others; (ii) then, converting our statements to questions.

For example, if we find ourselves thinking, “Yeah, they are successful, but crazy,” we may ask ourselves, “When have I acted ‘crazy’?” (consider your obsessions, pet-peeves, impulses).

We may also ask ourselves, “If they are successful and crazy, then what may I learn from them about their path to success, and how to avoid becoming ‘crazy’?”

When we choose to lean into our natural curiosity, we create opportunities for ourselves. We open the door to different perspectives, and humility. We begin to see ourselves in others, and grow with compassion.