Signs

The Man That Lived by The River

He heard a radio report that the river was going to rush up and flood the town, and that all the residents should evacuate their homes.

But, the man said, “I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me.”

The waters rose up, and a guy in a rowboat came along and he shouted, “Hey, hey you, you in there, the town is flooding let me take you to safety.”

But, the man shouted back, “I'm religious. I pray. God loves me. God will save me.”

A helicopter was hovering overhead, and a guy with a megaphone shouted, “Hey, you down there, the town is flooding. Let me drop this ladder and I'll take you to safety.”

But, the man shouted back that he was religious, that he prayed, that God loved him, and that God would take him to safety.

Well, the man drowned.

Standing at the gates of St. Peter, he demanded an audience with God.

“Lord,” he said, “I'm a religious man. I pray. I thought you loved me. Why did this happen?”

God said, “I sent you a radio report, a helicopter, and a guy in a rowboat. What the hell are you doing here?”